toughGUISE

This week we watched that movie calle Tough Guise. It talked about how violence in boys and men is almost expected. He talked about the school shootings that have occurred and about how most of the boys needed to prove their masculinity. I never thought that the reason the boys were shooting up schools was because of their need to prove their masculinity, but I can definitely understand it now. Our society puts so much on "being a man" and "doing manly things." But I don't understand how in order to be a man, you need to be violent. Sal said that masculinity is a mask that men wear in America. I completely agree. Not every guy is violent, most guys don't even like to fight. But if you went  up to a random boy at SHS and tried to start a fight, I think that he would be willing to. Not because he necessarily likes to fight and get physical, but because if he didn't then that would be telling everyone that he's a "wuss" or a "bitch". When it comes down to it, I think that most guys are actually sensitive. I feel like they do want someone to talk to if they have problems. Probably not to the extent that girls need people to talk to but I think that desire is still there. But since guys aren't supposed to show their feelings, a lot of guys will pretend that they don't have a soft side. It's kind of funny because I have guy friends at school that pretend to be all tough around their guy friends but when they're just with girls they're completely different; they actually show emotion! I think that even proves even more how masculinity is just a mask.

Social Construction of Gender

In class last week we looked at how we're born with a sex, but not necessarily with a gender. I never really thought about that until we started discussing it in class and I can actually understand that now. Yeah, it's true that girls are born with girl parts and boys are born with boy parts but that doesn't automatically make them behave "like girls" or "like boys". Social construction and the way society lables boy and girl characteristics has a huge effect on how we act and what we see as sociall right or wrong. I think it's weird that as girls we're raised to think that pink is a "girl color" and that we're supposed to wear make-up. Then boys are raised to think that it's good to be a tough guy and fight with other boys. It's crazy to think how different our world would be if it was the opposite and girls were raised to believe that it was cool to fight and guys wore make up. We're raised with certain gender norms, I guess you could say, and anything or anyone that doesn't meet those particular standards is seen as weird. When a guy doesn't like to fight or is not exactly the most masculine guy ever, he can often be seen as gay. In school, I often hear people talking about kids they see in the halls, and since they might be a little different than the norm that automatically makes them gay. It's not right, but it happens so much at school.

Secret Agents of Socialization

We have many groups in our lives that shape how we live, whether it's by influencing the way we dress or by influencing our overall character. I think that one of the biggest agents of socialization is family. Family is the most influential part of people's lives because they base most of their decisions and opinions off of what they were taught. I think that the different manners and "rules" people learn when they're younger are with them for the rest of their lives. It's funny how usually the principles we grow up with seem to us to be the only right ones. If someone at school or at work does something differently than what you were taught at home, it's common to perceive his or her actions as wrong. Family also has a huge impact on people's opinions. Usually when your parents associate themselves with a certain political party, you find yourself agreeing with them and associating yourself with that same party. I think things like that are due to what is talked about at home. If your parents are constantly bashing a political leader from a different party, it seems like what they're saying is right because you hear it so often. It's almost as if you're not exposed to any other views so you don't have anything else to compare your parents' views to. That whole opinion thing is kinda like what I've experienced in my house with my family. My mom went to a small liberal arts school and ever since I was younger my mom has drilled in my head that small schools are the best. Since she's my mom and I value her opinion, now I'm applying to all small schools. I think it's just crazy, but cool, how people are affected so greatly by family.

"We must love one another or die...Love always wins."

In class this week we watched Tuesdays With Morrie and I seriously think it was the most touching movie ever! I almost started crying at the beginning of the movie! Even though it was sad, I think there were some really key ideas about America that were explained very well. One of those ideas was how Americans are afraid to love. Mitch did not like talking about his feelings, and he was hesitant to really commit to Janine. I never really thought about it before but Americans are afraid of love. I think a big factor behind being afraid to love is fear of the unknown. It's difficult to put all of your feelings out on the table because then that gives people the ability to hurt you or let you down. I think that a lot of people feel vulnerable when they let their feelings show, and that's not a good feeling. There is also that fear of rejection and not being loved back. It's a scary to thought to put your heart on the line when you don't know if the person you love loves you back. This hesisitancy to love someone is very apparent everywhere, even in SHS. It may not be on the same level as couples that are older and more mature, but kids are definitely more hesitant to show their true feelings. My friend will tell me how much she cares about some guy but she'll refuse to tell him how she feels because of fear. I think that's the biggest factor in the masking of our feelings. I think that we won't be able to really let people into our lives until we learn that it's okay to love. When we learn to love then we learn to live.